October 15, 2009

Quiet

The blog has been quiet lately, I know. I discern two causes, both of which also make me ask for your prayers.

First, anyone who has tried to live the devout life knows how it is an experience of undulation. Sometimes we are on fire for prayer, penance, and charity, and sometimes it all dries up. My favorite description of this is in C. S. Lewis's The Screwtape Letters, chapter eight, which you can read for yourself on Google Books. Put "undulation" into the search box and you'll be right there. Anyway, I'm in one of the lower spells right now. Not that this is a bad thing; indeed living the spiritual life means taking advantage of such times. John of the Cross would no doubt see them as valuable opportunities to surrender to the nights of sense and spirit. But whatever spiritual utility they may have, it also means that fewer spiritual reflections arise for blogging.

Second, I've been working on an anxious little project in these days, and it has been taking a lot of my interior resources. It's not even urgent, but I want to get it done before the whirlwind of the privileged seasons begins at the end of next month. The anxiety isn't intense or dangerous or even unwelcome, but it does come from some deep places. It has to do with the discernment of my future work in the Order. Religious life is not place of spiritual safety and comfort; it pushes and stretches you, and like St. Peter, sometimes binds you up and takes you to places you might not want to go. (John 21:18) But once you have been around the block a few times, the Holy Spirit becomes easier to trust, and you know in your real heart that He is working for your redemption and the common good of the fraternity and the Church.

So, in your charity, offer a prayer for my perseverance, courage, and conversion if you can.

11 comments:

Hidden One said...

Orare possum ergo pro te oram.

Warren said...

I'm right there too. I'll pray a fumbling prayer for you, please pray one for me, too.

Warren

Qualis Rex said...

Father Charles, I hear you loud and clear and will pray as well (please do the same). I seem to be in the same "funk" as you. I have a totally unscientific theory that it may have to do with the weather change affecting the chemical makeup of the brain, but that's neither here nor there. Rest assured, I'm fairly confident it will pass soon enough for the both of us.

Paul Miller said...

You are in my prayers. Our fight is a beautiful, peaceful one. May the Lord's grace give you strength on that field of battle.

Anonymous said...

We will all pray for you Father Charles as I know you will for us members of your on-line ministry.

4narnia said...

hi Fr. C!
just keep trusting the Holy Spirit. you're ALWAYS in my prayers! PEACE! ~tara t~

KAM said...

Often more is learned in the silence.

Benedicta said...

You are always in our prayers.You were chosen to be one of His disciples, so trust in Him. Wherever and whatever you do, the Holy Spirit is always beside you.

Benedicta said...

You were chosen to be one of His disciples, so trust in Him. Wherever and whatever you do the Holy Spirit will always be beside you. We are always praying for you

pennyante said...

I too have been in a low point recently...

You have had a place in my prayers for awhile now. I see there are many others who are doing the same...

Remember Is 42:3 "A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out."

This verse has helped me many a time...

FrankCaiati said...

Yet even in your "dryness" does the Spirit inspire profound truths. You ask us to pray for your conversion.
I thought for a second, "His conversion?! He's dedicated his whole life to serving God, what more of a conversion does he need?" Upon closer examination, your word choice is beautiful. We all need to pray for our own conversion, and the conversion of others- to quit depending on our own plans and to fully pass the controls over the God.
To constantly convert is to constantly renew. Day to day. Even moment to moment.
Thank you for that inspiration.