Padre Pio's Daughters

A conversation at lunch.

[Friar mentions a prayer group of friars' mothers in his home province called 'The Daughters of Padre Pio.']

Friar 1: That's very interesting. Being the mother of a friar makes you become a daughter of Padre Pio.

Friar 2: Well, the other day Cardinal O'Malley reiterated that a friar who has a child has to leave to be a father and fulfill his obligations to the child and mother. [So what of Padre Pio and his daughters?]

Friar 1: Well Padre Pio already left the Order.

Friar 2: ?

Friar 1: Well in the friar database [which is kept here in the General Curia] one of the fields is 'way of leaving.' [modo di uscita] And one of the choices [for filling the field] is death.

Overheard: Alleluia

 Overheard at fraternal recreation:

"When he was a member of the Académie française, they asked Cardinal Lustiger what was the most beautiful word in the French language. He said,

'Alléluia.'"

I always remember Cardinal Lustiger because I recall how, when I was first exploring the idea of becoming a Catholic, I asked the priest if being a convert made you a sort of less-than Catholic. He said something like,

'On the contrary; the Archbishop of Paris is a convert.'

Boasting in the Lord

Not to scandalize anyone, but I can't say that in my experience of religious life I have been edified overwhelmingly by the influence of Sacred Scripture in the discernment and planning of everyday tasks and administration. Today, however, was an exception.

A brother was at work preparing a request to certain ministers of the brothers, that they might compile certain informations regarding the maintenance of buildings, the condition of temporal goods, that sort of thing.

Another brother issued a warning, reminding the first brother that it had been Satan who had incited David to "number" Israel, and that the end result had been a divine judgment that left seventy thousand dead and Jerusalem just missing being destroyed. (Cf. 1 Chronicles 21)

The first brother responded that David had been punished because he tried to make an accounting of his strengths (which intimated failure to have faith in the Mighty One of Israel), but that the Order (according to the salutary spiritual advice of the Apostle) was endeavoring to render an account of its weaknesses.

Overheard: *Hot and Spicy

One of the brothers was putting hot pepper powder in his pasta e fagioli. Another brother, noticing, said,

"I can see that you are a spiritual man."

"What do you mean?" asked the first brother, looking a little concerned, perhaps--like Mary--wondering what this greeting might mean.

"They say that eating spicy food stirs up the passions in the body, so I can see that you seek a fiercer spiritual combat as a greater sacrifice to offer to the Lord."

Overheard: Macchiato and Fraternal Correction

Sometimes when I'm getting my little caffè macchiato out of the machine after Mass in the morning, I crack the joke that I drink caffè macchiato for my anima macchiata, my 'stained soul.'

Today one of my seniors in religion corrected me:

"Why do you make empty [rendere vano] the sacrifice of Christ, by which he has made your soul spotless [illibata]?

Overheard: Morituri Te Salutant

As is said of Italians, they identify not as much with the modern nation-state that is the Republic of Italy, but with their particular historical regions and even neighborhoods. This exceedingly random conversation provides an example:

An Italian friar, playing--I hope--comes at me with a knife.

Me: You may kill me on May 29.

Italian: Why May 29?

Me: On May 29, the prova will be complete.

(The prova is my one-year trial period in this assignment. According to my interpretation of my letter of obedience, once it is completed I am free to declare myself free of the assignment and hence, of any particular holy obedience. Thus, I could be free to die in good conscience, at least as far as religious obedience goes.)

Italian: I could not kill you on May 29.

Me: Why?

Italian: May 29 is the day we were liberated from the aggression of Frederick Barbarossa!

Overheard: St. Francis Is Not A Mushroom

From an edifying friar:

"I turned to study the Church fathers because, when I was a young friar, St. Francis started to give me indigestion. Not St. Francis himself, but the way they used him. Without an idea of the tradition of religious life they would justify any crazy thing they wanted to do with, 'St. Francis says this...' or 'St. Francis says we have to...' as if St. Francis was born like a mushroom."

Apparently, to be born like a mushroom is a French saying that suggests someone or something born ex nihilo, without provenance or parentage.

Amen.

Motherhood of Mary

The Martyrology is marvelous today:

The octave of the Nativity of the Lord and the day of his Circumcision, the solemnity of holy Mary, Mother of God, whom the Fathers at the Council of Ephesus acclaimed Theotokos, for from her the Word took flesh and the Son of God lived among human beings, he who is the prince of peace, to whom a Name above all names is given.

It's all in there: the solemnity of Mary, Mother of God, the octave of Christmas, the feast of the Circumcision, (which continues to be celebrated today in the Extraordinary Form), the feast of the Holy Name, of course associated with the circumcision but now having migrated to January 3, and even the the World Day of Peace, given to us by Pope Venerable Paul VI.

I know that the Motherhood of Mary, now today's principal title, is a restoration of something older and more venerable, but I've still sometimes wished that we could have the feast of the Lord's Circumcision. Maybe it's because the circumcision of my older nephew was one of the most interesting rituals I have ever been privileged to attend.

I think about this very bodily ritual by which Jesus of Nazareth was brought into the covenant of Abraham and I'm led to contemplate the mystery of his human body, out of the flesh of Mary, as the hinge that joins the old creation to the new.

I think about this sometimes at Holy Communion. It's clear that the Body of Christ we receive is not the finite, historical body of Jesus of Nazareth. (This is why I consider misled and confused those priests who replace 'behold the Lamb of God' at Communion with 'this is Jesus...') The Body we receive is Christ risen into the Sacraments of his Church. The wonder and marvelous mystery--as well as the stumbling block--of it all is that this Risen Body is continuous with the historical life of Jesus of Nazareth, born of Mary, executed on the Cross.

By our Holy Communion, we too become sharers in this mystery. We are made citizens of the new creation and are offered the grace to become new, renovated creatures, the grace of eyes to see new hope in the midst of the aimlessness and violence of the world. But at the same time we remain, in some sense, children of Adam and Eve, laboring under the confusions, pathologies, and injuries that are the whole human legacy of brutality and sin to which we are the latest heirs. Christianity makes us into very curious beings, blessed messes, weeds and wheat, rejoicing in our newly-granted citizenship in the new creation but still struggling with everything that continues to bind us to the old.


Overheard:

Friar 1: "How's your life, Father?"

Friar 2: "My life? There is no longer 'my life' but Christ who lives in me."

Friar 1: "I think Christ is a little cranky today."


It's cute, but I think it captures something. Despite the dual citizenship of the Christian, member of the 'Israel of God' which nonetheless is still in pilgrimage in history, he is not two people, but one. From the Cross Jesus gave us his mother to be our mother. By our burial into his death in baptism, we are reborn of Mary. We become the offspring of her 'fruitful virginity,' itself the great sign of the dawning new creation.

And yet it is the child of Eve who becomes a child of Mary, and the 'inner child' that was born of Eve remains. Miserable as he necessarily is, I need to treat him like the spoiled, short-sighted, tantrum-throwing brat that original sin has made him. I have to put him in 'time out' when it's time to pray and when I'm called to any kind of delicate and difficult charity for my neighbor. But I also have to look upon him with some fondness, not hating him, and not treating him with the contempt which only makes his wounds fester all the more, for he also is me.

Following the Gospel

At supper two friars were discussing the ministry of being guardian of a house. One of them had been a guardian before and the other not.

The one who had never been a guardian said, "It must be great! You can say to one friar 'go' and he goes, and to another 'do this' and he does it." (Cf. Matthew 8:9, Luke 7:8)

The one who had been a guardian said, "Well, you're almost right, but for a small change in point of view. It's more like you say to one friar, 'why did you go there?' and to another, 'why did you do that?'"

Midian, Jerusalem, Hypothetical Wives, Death

Yesterday morning some brothers came to collect me from Garbatella and bring me, at last, here to the General Curia. I'm not quite landed yet, though. The room which is to be mine isn't ready, so I'm in a guest room for the weekend.

I spent the rest of yesterday exploring and just taking it all in. I wandered over to the Collegio Internazionale and found again the English-speaking hang-out room, to which I had been introduced one night back in May when I first arrived in Italy. I wandered outside and found the long, sketchy, lizard-crossed path that leads to the bus stop. I can already tell that this will be a rich environment for 'overheard' posts, which I have always been told are favorites. Here are some from yesterday, and one from this morning:

Wandering around the Collegio, I met some students. In the course of meeting them, one asked how old I was. I told him that I was forty.

"As Moses fled to Midian when he was forty, so you have come to us."


At supper, one of the brothers was--I think--accusing another of feigning ignorance of certain significances of the recently concluded general chapter.

"Are you the only foreigner in Jerusalem who does not know about the things that have happened here in these days?"


Looking forward to this morning, for which the gospel is Jesus' teaching on marriage in Mark 10, one of the brothers quizzed the friar who was scheduled to preach.

"What will you say tomorrow? Are you going to tell us that we may not abandon our wives?"


At breakfast (I missed the context on this one) on the brothers announced:

"We have never been as close to our death as we are right now, this morning."

The Dark Night of the Meatloaf

From the friary kitchen:

Friar 1: "This looks good!"

Friar 2: "It fell apart a little."

Friar 1: "Still looks good!"

Friar 2: "I didn't put enough breadcrumbs, so when I took it out of the form, it fell apart."

Friar 1: "I had the same problem with my spirituality."

Friar 2: "Not enough breadcrumbs?"

Friar 1: "When it came out of the form, it fell apart."

Sir?

From the 'you can't take friars anywhere' file:

Cheesecake Factory waiter: "Do you have any questions?"

Friar: "What do you think of my hat?"

(The friar was not wearing a hat.)

Overheard in the Sacristy

The sacristan was at the end of one jug of wine and didn't want to open a new one. There was only a little for the cruet.

"Is this enough for you, Father?" she asked.

"Plenty," the priest replied.

"I don't want to mix the old wine with the new," she continued.

To which the priest affirmed, "The Lord himself forbids it."

Overheard: Backgrounds

Friar 1: "What's your background?"

Friar 2: "Catholic."

Friar 1: "What do you mean?"

Friar 2: "It's a species of apostolic Christianity."

Friar 1: "I meant the background picture on your phone."

Need to Know Basis

Sometimes there are hilarious conversations in friaries. For example:

Friar visiting kitchen: "Is there any hot water [in the electric tea pot]?"

Friar cooking supper: "Maybe. [Fr.] John as just here; he made some water."

"He made some water? I know he's talented, but he's not God."

"God didn't make water."

"Of course he did. Don't you believe in creation?"

"Yes. But the water was already there. Read Genesis."

"So where did it come from if God didn't make it?"

"I don't know. The Scripture doesn't say, so it must not be relevant to redemption."

"What?"

"Divine Revelation only imparts what we need to know to be saved."

Overheard in the Friary: Love and Form

Friar with doctorate in theology opening Christmas cards and pausing on one in particular: "I like to see how the kids have grown, but I wish they could send something a little more religious."

Student friar: "It says 'love.' God is love. That's kind of religious."

Friar with doctorate in theology: "Yes, brother. God is love. But at Christmas God is love in a particular form. Go upstairs."

Overheard in the Friary

At supper the brothers were talking about a certain ritual book, and the advantage of having a bilingual version in both Spanish and English.

One of the brothers asked another about a certain such edition, but he said "bi-ritual" instead of "bilingual."

"Is it a bi-ritual version?"

"Yes, Brother; on facing pages it has the ritual in the traddy and liberal versions."

Overheard: Clerical Celibacies

Roman cleric 1: So this flamboyant and very gay seeming Orthodox priest is telling me about his wife and kids, and then he starts bad-mouthing priestly celibacy.

Roman cleric 2: Did you ask him if his wife was in favor of it?

Overheard in the Friary

This conversation is so religious life:

Father Guardian: What do you want for dinner for your going-away party?

Me: That depends on who's cooking.

Religious Life Zingers

If you can't accept the brutal truth about yourself, religious life is not for you. One of the gifts of this life is that we are pretty plain with each other, but often in a bitingly funny way. Here are a couple of favorites I've heard over the years:

One brother was complaining to another about some little thing that was very annoying to him. The brother responded:

"Yeah, I hate it too when I get petty."


Another time one brother was expressing his disapproval of certain ideas and practices in another. The accused responded:

"I know! I also get anxious when I'm having trouble accepting differences."