I have another quote or two from Laudato si' to blog on, but I've saved the ones that struck me most for last and I'm not ready to post on them yet. They challenge me, especially as a religious, a Franciscan, and a Capuchin, and I need some more time with my thoughts on them.
Today--and not unrelated to my reflection on Laudato si'--I'm just thinking about surrender. I'm thinking about how a spiritual life is an ongoing surrender to the will of God, a daily turning of things over to God.
When you begin you feel as if you have turned over your life to God, have surrendered to his will, and you have the energy of a first fervor. But time goes by. And God, finding you willing to work, puts you to work. He invites you a deeper level, revealing to you parts of yourself, aspects of your thinking or behavior for example, that you have not surrendered. And even though these attachments--these little reserves of your own will, where you say in this case or that case, or when this or that happens, I reserve the right to do it my way--give you nothing but misery, it can be very hard to let go of them.
And so you struggle. You have moments of surrender and the peace and serenity that goes with it, and moments of failure in which you taste the fruit of your own will, ever more rotten. And yet God is always there, always inviting, asking you, 'Will you let go of this, will you let your own will be crucified with me so that I may draw you into the new life of resurrection?'
2 comments:
Amen.
Surrender. Sometimes it means "I give up." But in our case, it means continuing on the path to holiness. You are right. We think that we have truly surrendered, but some little thing comes up and we find that there is something we are holding back. He gave everything for us, and He asks us to give everything for Him. Not always easy. For me, losing some of my ability to walk is very difficult. I need what they call a rollator now so that I am balanced and not so wobbly on my legs. I need to lean on that rollator. I need to lean on the Lord so that I am balanced in my spiritual life, and not so wobbly. Another word for surrender is yield, to give the right of way (as on traffic signs). So I must give right of way to the Lord, let Him have complete control of my life. I am going to keep on trying. Perhaps one day I will succeed.
Post a Comment