A priest was charging his cell phone in the hallway next to the parish offices.
Funny Lady: Father, is it 'finders keepers'? Because there's a nice cell phone out here...
Priest: Go ahead and take it. But you'll have to hear the confessions of everyone who calls up when I'm on duty.
Funny Lady: I can hear their confessions, I just can't do anything about them.
Priest: Don't worry, some of them don't want to do anything about them either.
As a confessor told me once, "Just because you feel contrite, doesn't mean you're repentant."