(A collection in progress)
1. Pray for the other members of the community every day. Not only is this the right thing to do before God, but it practices the disposition of charity toward them.
2. Presume the best motives in others.
3. Presume that others are quietly putting up with your awkwardness, idiosyncrasies and annoying behaviors that you aren't even aware of. Try to do the same thing for them.
4. Do not avoid conversations that tend toward gossip or detraction. Instead, by your own speech, try to turn them positive.
5. Do not take responsibility for the feelings of others, nor try to make anyone else responsible for yours. Do not surrender your moods and emotional states to the control of others.
6. Commit to some form of prayer or spiritual practice that helps you transcend moodiness and dis-identify with the flux of your own thoughts and feelings.
7. Seek always ways to be helpful around the house, but also be careful of enabling anyone's learned helplessness or negligence.
8. Be free to challenge anyone who is having trouble accepting help or kindness. Be humble enough yourself to ask for help when you need it. Be humble enough to accept compliments and kind words. Those who refuse to accept love deny others the chance to practice charity.
9. Use humor wisely. It can be a powerful too for speaking difficult things in a safe way, but it can also be used to belittle or to prevent what needs to be said from coming out.
10. When you cook, pay attention not to what they say at table, but to whether anyone eats the leftovers. That's what indicates whether they liked it or not.
11. Be approachable and available. If nobody ever asks you for help or if they can talk something over, it might be because you seem unapproachable.